Healthy Relationships

...they take effort, and they're worth it.

Third tip: You can only gain like for like. Healthy relationship or not, even love and respect cannot make up for this one. You cannot give materially and expect to receive emotionally or vice versa. At least not indefinitely. If you're only receiving anger, it may be because you're giving it. Directly or indirectly doesn't matter; the vibes are there, and we do pick them up. Even if we don't know where they're coming from. Learn to listen and be aware of whether or not your love and respect are being overshadowed by anger, frustration, resentment, or any other negative emotion.

Another tip: To have healthy relationships you must face your desires and needs head on, and tell it like it is. Only you can know what is true in your heart, so only you can speak of it and, in turn, fulfill it. If you hesitate, if you withhold your love, your respect, your truth; be ready to accept that the relationship will never meet its full potential or simply was not meant to be.  Protecting your loved ones feelings does nothing but destroy a relationship.

Big tip: Aggressors, Egotists, Crazy Makers, Fixers ... they all serve their purpose, and they all come to us in relationships. When they come into your life you'd best be open to figuring out what they are here to tell you about yourself. For that is what relationships are all about; helping us find our true selves, our very best and very worst traits.

One more tip: Taking the good with the bad gives us balance in relationships as well as all aspects of life. Just don't settle for one or the other, especially not in relationships. We all must have both. If one person is satisfied with the relationship, yet the other is not, something is unbalanced. Both must accept the truth of the fact and work to mend the relationship or be prepared to let it go. Pretending a problem doesn't exist just prolongs the hurt and builds resentment. Trying to make someone else happy leads to unhappiness. Ignoring someone else's unhappiness leads to misery, not love, not respect, not a healthy relationship.

Sure, identifying your own feelings can be a whole lot more painful than guessing at, or blaming, someone else's. But don't be tempted to take the easy way out. True love is a total commitment of honesty from two individuals. Whether it be lovers, siblings, or friends. And if it is true love, then is it not worth all of your compassion and forgiveness? Is it not worth all of your love and respect?

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